It Came From The Porch : 2005 Archive : Poetry Night : Vogon Poetry

 

Please, strap yourself into the Poetry Appreciation Chair... allow me to connect imagery intensifiers... rhythmic modulators... alliterative residulators... ah yes, and the simile dumper. Excellent.

Ready? Good.

(ahem)

Oh freddled gruntbuggly... thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee.
Groop I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes.
And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, see if I don't!

"Now, Earthlings... I present you with a simple choice! Either die in the vacuum of space, or... tell me how good you think my poem was!"

- excerpted from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy © 1979 by Douglas Adams. Used without permission. Hope he don't mind.