 ©1999-1999 ICFTP What're you, kidding? |
Rob says:
I've been thinking lately about the places I go to eat, the places I've been eating, and the places I'd like to eat. I went to Outback tonight, and although I eventually received a pretty good steak I realized that there was still something missing. Something that the places I really like have. Some sort of Uniqueness combined with a superlative quality of food, some sort of sense of - oh, I don't know, absolute rightness that they apparently don't have Down Under®. OK, OK, I'm ranting. Sorry. I realize it's just a chain.
Aargh. I want Callahan's. I want Lady Sally's. Dream Park. The Porch, for that matter. I want a place so good, so me, so RIGHT that they couldn't clone it if they wanted. The sort of place that just couldn't be a chain. Off the beaten path, and I can't figure out why - is everyone else just stupid? Take me to the river. Swallow me and take me to Capistrano! Some places are just meant to be, and I was meant to find them. The GOOD places.
What sort of places am I talking about? (Hush, Trey. Not yet). How about Old Dutch Ice Cream?
Yep, Old Dutch. Used to be Widemire's Old Dutch, but the old man retired. He was gonna just shut down but somebody came along and bought the thing. Thank whatever god there may be. This place is still the bomb. If you look in the archives, I think Trey already did a bit on Old Dutch but I gotta talk too.
We went there after the Outback fiasco and that made it all better. You know, I hadn't realized how much I take that place for granted? It's like my grandparents. They'll always be there. The wallpaper at Old Dutch? Same as when I went there as a toddler - ugly. I think the same Peanuts cartoon about "the biggest thing we have to worry about is hot fudge sundaes" has been there since the '70s. I know the Saturday Evening Post / Norman Rockwell prints have. For P.E. at St.Paul's, they used to make us go to Widemire's and get the empty cardboard cans - five gallon? - to put our P.E. clothes and shoes into. Probably still do. The same freezers are there, and I'd swear that the same 3-station Hamilton Beach milkshake mixer has been sitting in the same spot with the same chip in the paint on the bottom since I wore diapers. Why change what works? I talked to Mr. Widemire about stuff, once or twice. Quite the interesting guy....
See, old man Widemire came from a family that ran a dairy company. They distributed milk, butter, etc., and made Ice Cream. Good ice cream. When they finally sold out, they opened up this ice cream shop and used their old recipes. Had to get Dairy Fresh (IIRC) to actually freeze and pack it for them, though. When I talked to him shortly before he retired, he sneered at (no, really - sneered!) brands like Blue Bell. Seems like you have to have a minimum percentage of milkfat to call it ice cream, and the temperature needs to not get too cold, and.... well, lets just say the man knows ice cream. I knew there was a reason I liked his, and he explained it well.
This place rocks. Highly recommended.
A couple of hundred feet away is Butch Cassidy's. Butch's is a bar/restaurant with good character, the occasional babe waitress, and some pretty good food. Unfortunately, the burger is not on Rob's hot list, due to an unfortunate kaiser roll in its pedigree. I rank it at about 6 ElCaps outta 10 - sorry. (more on that later). However, the chicken strips are top of the heap. Sid really likes the fried green tomatoes (yes, I know). Trey seems to like a lot of the food, and the Irish Coffees if I recall correctly. Good people, good menu, nice place to hang out. Not a chain (thank you!).
Again, highly recommended.
How about Picklefish? What a wacky place. Late night pizza joint downtown, with weird staff and great pizza. Do not be surprised if your waitress looks like she just left the Four Strong Winds Coffeehouse - it's long gone, but fashion lives on, baby! Odd hair colors are de rigueur, and multiple piercings go unnoticed. Clientele is mostly younger folk, especially at night. Hang out, eat some italian-ish food, drink upstairs, blend easily.
Me, I go for the pizza. It's good. I usually get 'em to cook it a little longer 'cause I like the crust crispy, but that's my (perverted) taste. The Biggie Piggie is very popular with the Sports City 6 crowd, as is the White Chicken Veggie. I like the pepperoni. ("Yeah, I'd like a ten inch pepperoni, please." "Huh. Don't we all?").
Story about this place - named 'cause an owner's kid said it and it was cute, or something like that. Maybe Trey knows? I don't know anyone who owns the place...
I like it a lot.
Well, Trey's had a 'deer-in-the-headlights' look waiting for this one, so here you go.
El Cap.
Say it again: El Cap. Aaahhh, yes. Numero Uno.
The Bonfili family in St. Petersburg, Florida really like baseball, and they run a sports bar. Lotta spring training down that way, and they even have a Major League team there now. They used to shut down for August - the whole month, so they could go see baseball games. About 3 days before a trip down to St.Pete, I used to sit bolt upright, look wildly about (see the fear in his eyes, kids?) for the phone, and call Harry Bickle - "WHEN ARE THEY CLOSED?" TV's scattered about, outdoor tables, and waitresses who don't scare you but you'd only hit on 'em to be friendly. The old man is gone now, but his wife kept the place about the same. They're open year-round now, though. Whichever god you thanked for Old Dutch, double up on next time for El Cap. You see, this place has THE BEST HAMBURGER IN THE WORLD.
"Oh? Really? Wow. Great."
Tell somebody you've eaten the best burger in the world, and that's their response. Sung to the tune of, "Doesn't he look natural? And so many lovely flowers..."
No, I mean it. In all caps. THE BEST HAMBURGER IN THE WORLD. Try it.
I can't tell you how many people I've watched take their first bite, pop their eyes wide open, and flag the waitress down to get the next one coming. Takes 'em by surprise every time. I rank burgers I've eaten on a scale of 1 to 10. Every El Cap Burger was in the double digits.
What is it? I DON'T KNOW. They just taste better. Every time. Not dry, not tough, not too charred, crisp bun (toasted), rich, yummy.... Must stop. Hungry now. I confess, my preferred burger configuration involves patty, meat, ketchup, and mayo. Get a pickle near it and I'll hurt you. However, the people who go with me and get the garden on top of it say that all the veggie stuff is on par with my minimalist version. Not a veggie burger, mind you - I mean the lettuce, onion, tomato, etc.
The fries are good too. Shoestrings, crispy, not soggy - yum. You know what kills me though? My dad and Harry Bickle are the ones who took me there first. Once a week for lunch, they'd go drink beer (" 'nother pitcher, honey") and eat - get this - chili dogs. They seemed to feel the same way about the dog as I do about The Burger, only not as strongly. Somebody up there likes this place. My friend Kelly-head works down the street at Paisano's pizza, tending bar. She knows Mrs. Bonfili, hangs out with her. Gotta meet her someday...
Alright, here's how I feel about EL Cap. Trey once felt the urge to repay Sid and me for some perceived generosity, or emotional support, or some such bullshit, and offered to take us out to dinner. Wherever we wanted. The Pillars, Ruth's Chris, Weichmann's - wherever. Cost no object. I thought about it (for about 2 seconds!) and said, "Fine. El Cap it is".
So we did. Trey paid for gas, we drove 9 hours and crashed at John Landsman's (coolest guy I've ever met), and sure enough - when the time came, Trey plunked down his $2.15 per burger and bought dinner at El Cap. $20 for the four of us, if that. Thus, we answered the age-old question: <Trey, kindly insert photo at appropriate spot? Photo coming-Trey>
Q: "How far would you drive for the perfect hamburger?"
A: "Depends - how far is El Cap?"
I love it.
Rob