 ©1999-1999 ICFTP What're you, kidding? |
Well, things certainly have been depressing around here lately, haven't they?
In an effort to combat that icky yucky not-so-fresh feeling, I offer:
Two Peas In A Nose
A performance art piece by Trey Andrews.
Ladies and Gentlemen, and members of the audience, let's give a warm Porch welcome to... me!
Here we have a simple Pea, a common Pea, the sort of Pea that Rob loves to consume by the pound. But tonight... this Pea will go where no Pea has before... where no Pea in its natural state would venture... where some philosophers have been known to speculate that no Pea SHOULD go...
Carefully... carefully... first the right nostril...
... and, oh so carefully, the left nostril. Gently inhale to seat Peas firmly. Gently!
Ta-da! I found this to be strangely... comfortable. Comforting, even. As the green orbs nestled within my nostrils, a strange sense of peas came over me... I was content....
... but I knew it couldn't last. With a mighty snort, I sent them careening about the dinner plate before me, their time in my nose complete. I knew that they were better Peas for the experience, and so, knowing that they wished to move up in the world, I put them on Tanya's plate with the other Peas of higher social standing. Hardly wishing them to receive special attention, I cleverly neglected to tell Tanya what I'd done. Therefore they received very democratic treatment. She ate them too.
Thank you! Thank you! You're all too kind, thank you. I'll be back, same time next week, and remember folks, the nine -thirty show is COMPLETLEY different than the seven-thirty show!